Situationships, Soul Ties & Ghosts: Why Your 20s Can Feel Like an Emotional Warzone

Your 20s are supposed to be a time of freedom — brunches, big feelings, and bad decisions that make for good stories. But somewhere between the third ghosting, the late-night spiral, and the “What are we?” DTR conversations, it stops being funny. It just starts to hurt.

If you’ve ever felt emotionally whiplashed by modern dating—situationships, breadcrumbing, love bombing, or just plain confusion, you’re not alone. You’re not broken. And therapy might be the place where it finally makes sense. (and I say this not just as a therapist, but as an avid spiral-er in recovery myself) 

Let’s be real: dating in your 20s today isn’t like the rom-coms promised. It’s dating apps with the settings of a job search. Honestly, even finding friendships in big cities is like seeking a romantic partner! It’s feeling emotionally invested in someone you’ve never defined anything with. It’s catching feelings, then catching silence.

Why does it hurt so much?

Because psychology tells us that our brains are wired for attachment, not ambiguity. When a story is incomplete, we want to know how it ends really badly. And when we grow up with unclear emotional maps (chaotic families, emotionally unavailable caregivers, inconsistent friendships), we don’t just fall for the wrong people — we repeat patterns that feel familiar, not always healthy.

In therapy, I hear stories like:

• “I knew they weren’t right for me, but I couldn’t leave.”

• “It’s been 2 months since we spoke, and I still think about them daily.”

• “I’m afraid I’m too much. I always over-function in relationships.”

These aren’t just romantic wounds — they’re attachment injuries.

A good therapist here would say– We don’t pathologise your pain. We get curious about your emotional blueprints — the unconscious rules you’ve internalised about love, closeness, and worth.

We explore how your early experiences shaped your capacity to trust, set boundaries, or feel safe being vulnerable. And we work toward healing not just the relationship fallout, but the core stories underneath: “I’m not enough.” “I always have to chase love.” “If I speak my needs, I’ll be abandoned.”

You’re not crazy for caring deeply.

You're not dramatic for having big emotions.

And you're not unlovable because someone couldn’t see your worth.

Healing is learning how to love without losing yourself. It's understanding that peace can feel boring at first, but it's the softest, safest kind of freedom.

If your 20s feel like an emotional maze of almosts, maybes, and “what ifs”, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Therapy is where your story gets untangled, with kindness and clarity.